I've conducted extensive research on the emotional aspects of money. As the leading National Certified Counselor specializing in Financial Therapy for wealthy professionals, with over 20 years of experience in the financial services and mental health industries, I’ve learned a thing or two about Money Emotions that I'd like to share with you.
Among the various Money Emotions that affect our clients, Lonely-Based Emotions stand out as particularly impactful and often underestimated. First, I’ll recap a little about the four common types of money emotions. Then, I'll focus on Lonely-Based Emotions and how they can hinder your clients' wealth-building plan or, with the right approach, aid them in building a lasting legacy.
In the last 4-blog post we’ve been building awareness around financial emotions, we have previously discussed Fear-Based, Lack-Based, and Lust-Based Emotions. But the emotions that I see most when working with wealthy clients are Lonely-Based Emotions. The four most common Lonely-Based Emotions are
These emotions are not only significant in themselves but can also be interconnected, triggering one another in a complex web.
One might assume that the most prominent fear of wealthy clients would be the possibility of losing their hard-earned money, but in reality, their deepest fear is often the fear of being alone with their money. Belonging is a basic human need—to belong and connect with others is how we not only stay alive but in some cases thrive. However, some clients may choose to isolate themselves due to emotional exhaustion or other reasons, even though this isolation can have detrimental effects on their emotional and mental well-being.
Feeling Numb: A Cry for Balance
In our fast-paced society, affluent clients are often susceptible to the trap of overworking themselves, not just for money, but also for acceptance. This hard work mentality can lead to emotional numbness. Beyond just physical exhaustion, they experience mental and emotional fatigue. From personal to professional stressors clients can get worn out by the myriad of emotions they feel from day-to-day. When emotions are high, logic is low and if client’s are emotionally and mentally fatigued it can have profound implications on their financial decision-making skills.
When you see that your clients don’t care as much as they used to or don’t move through life with as much enthusiasm they may be experiencing numbness. Especially if they are the type of person that generally feels and reacts to everything. They’ve likely felt so much for so long that they have no more to give.
Feeling Disconnected: Seeking Meaningful Fulfillment
The sense of disconnection arises when clients believe they have given their all without reaping the expected rewards. Human connection is a physiological need, so don’t judge. We must empathize with their feelings, even if they haven't been able to clearly articulate what they are experiencing. It could be time for a Financial Therapy intervention that could get them back on track.
After working hard to belong one may give up on the plan in its existing form, when they fail to see the desired results. They may turn away from what was important and find new targets to hit, leading to disconnection from their current goals and possibly from others, including their financial advisors. They may stop answering your calls which could hinder you from making timely decisions with their assets. Recognizing the signs of emotional burnout in your clients will enable you to address their core values and needs before they go numb. Then you can guide them towards finding a balance and more fulfillment that fosters sound financial choices.
Feeling Misunderstood: Nurturing Authentic Connections
A sense of being misunderstood can arise among successful entrepreneurs and business owners if they lack a supportive community or group where they can be themselves without judgment. I always emphasize the importance of finding both a community to pour into and a community that will pour back into them. This sense of belonging can add meaning to clients lives and reinforce their financial endeavors positively.
Having a group that pours into them is especially important. It gives them a place where they can be vulnerable rather than having to perform all the time. Also, having a group where they lead and mentor others is fun and gives them the reward and appreciation they crave.
The longing for genuine understanding can be profound. Encouraging your clients to seek out supportive communities, such as mastermind groups like EO or Hampton, can provide them with a safe space to be themselves. Within these circles, they can form meaningful connections, pouring into others and being reciprocally supported without the burden of leadership.
This is precisely why I started The Presidential Lifestyle Community. It’s designed to give Financial Professionals a place to go where they can share accomplishments, challenges, and goals without feeling shame. A place where they can get answers and find out if they are even asking the right questions. If you’d like to join, I invite you to click this link and connect with us.
Feeling Isolated: Bridging the Gap
The desire to be "normal" can lead clients, especially celebrities, athletes, and high-profile individuals, to experience opposing goals, which in turn trigger a cascade of emotional complexities. The interplay between all four types of Money Emotions; Lonely-Based, Lust-Based, Lack-Based, and Fear-Based Emotions can adversely affect not only their financial plans but also their overall well-being. Identifying these emotions help clients understand that you have their back, no matter what they are going through.
Conquering Lonely-Based Emotions: Rewriting the Narrative
It is essential to recognize that Lonely-Based Emotions can often stem from overactive Lack-Based Emotions. After practicing and playing out the societal programs instilled in them during their formative years, particularly between the ages of 0 and 5 they start to crave freedom. What makes Lonely-Based Emotions harder to detect is that clients often experience them in private and don’t share them with anyone, including their trusted advisors.
To address these deeply ingrained emotions effectively, I offer a monthly deep dive for Financial Professionals into societal programming inside The Presidential Lifestyle Community. It happens the third Thursday of the month. If you aren’t already a member, click the link to join. It’s free! Get access to support and guidance so you don’t have to become your clients' therapist.
Financial success is a feeling that goes beyond numbers and investments, our understanding of the 4-Types of Money Emotions and their interconnectedness with financial decisions can foster remarkable trust and connect with your clients.
If you’re part of the community when your clients start showing visible signs of these emotions, find out how to introduce them to the Power of Financial Therapy. By employing the 5-Phase Action Plan for Create Your Presidential Lifestyle, we guide your clients towards peace of mind, allowing you to do what you do best.
Though the Presidential Lifestyle means different things to different people it is understood to be a coveted way of life that radiates success and fulfillment both personally and professionally.
Embrace this holistic approach. You don’t have to do it alone. Together we can usher your clients to a future where they make impactful financial choices that leave an impact on the world while keeping them connected to the people that mean the world to them.
Remember, their biggest fear isn't merely losing money; it's being alone with lots of money. Together, through Financial Therapy, we give clients freedom and fulfillment – not just in monetary terms but in the richness of emotions and connections.