Lust-Based Emotions are a group of intense feelings that stem from the desire for external rewards, often triggered by Lack-Based Emotions. The four most common Lust-Based Emotions are greed, guilt, shame, and desperation. I’ll address each one but before I do, let's address the question so many have asked me about jealousy.
While jealousy is a powerful emotion, it is considered a secondary emotion linked to Lack-Based Emotions, where we compare ourselves to others and perceive something we desire as unattainable for us. The feeling that the other person doesn’t deserve what they have may accompany the comparison, triggering feelings of jealousy.
Humans feel emotions and that is ok. The goal isn’t to rid your clients of emotions, but to make them aware of when those emotions are getting in the way of them executing on their financial plan. The ultimate goal as it relates to emotions, is to make sure they don’t get stuck in their emotions. When they’re stuck and unable to move forward the financial plan is stuck.
There are four common Lust-Based Emotions that your clients will exhibit. By understanding them, you can strategically plan as you advise them.
Greed - The Insatiable Hunger:
Greed is a compulsive desire for more and more, often driven by the chemical release of dopamine associated with accumulation. It can become a habitual behavior, leaving individuals constantly chasing external rewards without finding true satisfaction. Left unchecked, greed can lead to destructive financial habits and strained relationships.
Greed is associated with power as much as it is money. So don’t just look for your clients to lust over material possessions and dollar amounts. They can also obsess over titles and notoriety. After accumulating a certain amount of money it can lose its potency and the thirst for competing for power could kick in.
Clients may be willing to lose money to gain power similar to how John Rockefeller was often willing to lose money during the industrial revolution trying to keep his competition down. His goal of course was to gain more wealth, but power became more important, so when he had to choose between the two he would often choose power.
Guilt - The Remorseful Conscience:
Guilt arises when we fail to achieve the desired results or go against our core values in pursuit of our goals. This emotion is tightly connected to the Fear-Based Emotion of inadequacy, where individuals feel they aren't good enough. Guilt can be especially pronounced when financial decisions conflict with personal values and lead to a loss of ROI (Return on Investment) in various aspects of life.
The problem with guilt, unlike other emotions, it can linger for a long time and may never go away on its own. Similar to grief, guilt can be heavy to lift alone. If you notice this emotion in your client this is a good time to offer them an introduction to your favorite Financial Therapists.
At Presidential Lifestyle we offer your clients the tools to manage and even master the emotions that sabotage wealth goals. Check out The Power of Financial Therapy Membership, with on-demand access to Financial Therapy resources and weekly live Financial Therapy sessions your clients can overcome their Lust-Based Emotions and reach their goals faster.
Shame - Losing Dignity in Pursuit of Goals:
There is a song called, “What You Won’t Do For Love.” I wish there was a song about what you won’t do for money. Love and money are so intertwined that often what you are willing to do to gain one, you are willing to do to gain the other. And the depths of how low a client is willing to go can run deep.
Shame emerges when individuals have strayed so far from their core values that they lose their sense of dignity, often in a public setting. It’s one thing for your clients to know they’ve abandoned their values, but it’s more embarrassing when it happens in the public eye. Shame can carry with it suicidal ideations. So be very careful and gentle when your clients feel shame.
When clients are trying to live up to societal or familial expectations they may lose themselves and experience overwhelming shame. This can cause them to lose sight of their authentic goals, leading to poor financial decisions in order to keep up appearances or save face. This Lust-Based Emotion can often lead to a common Lonely-Based Emotion, “isolation.”
Desperation - The Impatient Pursuit of More:
Desperation is a heightened version of the "more, more, more" behavior commonly seen in Lack-Based Emotions. It stems from impatience and a sense of urgency to attain external rewards quickly. In the quest for immediate gratification, individuals may jeopardize their long-term financial well-being.
Of course you’ll see this in people when they are down and out…but your wealthy clients may also feel desperate if they are over leveraged or competing with unrealistic expectations and deadlines. Again, if they are in the public eye and fear not living up to expectations, they may feel desperate and take desperate measures that put their portfolios at risk.
If you have questions about how this plays out, be sure to join The Presidential Lifestyle Community. I can get you the answers you’re looking for and guide you through applying some of what you learn here to your specific business situation. You are not alone and some of these concepts are multilayered. I’m here to lift some of the burden off of you.
The Dangerous Cycle of Lust-Based Emotions:
One of the most significant challenges with Lust-Based Emotions is how they can create a vicious cycle, each emotion feeding into and triggering another. Lack-Based Emotions can often pave the way for Lust-Based Emotions, pushing individuals to seek external validation and rewards. When they don’t receive the rewards or validation they move into Lonely-Based Emotions, which we’ll talk more about next week.
Impact on Financial Wealth and Mental Health:
Lust-Based Emotions can be financially detrimental, leading to overspending, addictions, and vices as individuals attempt to fill the emotional voids they feel with material possessions. As money gets diverted towards these outlets, financial goals suffer, and excuses may arise to justify these actions.
Addressing Lust-Based Emotions requires a delicate approach. As financial professionals, it is essential to help clients identify their core values and align their financial plans accordingly. Remind them of their values during meetings and ensure their goals are based on personal aspirations rather than societal pressures.
The last thing I want to mention is very important. Avoid judgment when clients open up about their emotions, as this can create a safe and trusting environment. Encourage open communication and be mindful of potential triggers for anger, which may lead clients to seek alternative financial advice. When you join The Presidential Lifestyle Community, I can help you navigate these conversations. Ask me anything about Money Emotions and I’ll get you answers.
Lust-Based Emotions have a profound impact on clients' financial decisions, leading them to chase external rewards without addressing their true desires and values. With the right tools your clients will see that mental and emotional health affect financial health and wealth. The hidden role of a financial professional is not just to manage wealth but to guide clients through the complexities of their money emotions.
By joining The Presidential Lifestyle Community we can work together to help your clients recognize the influence of these emotions. Our partnership gives you the tools to share with clients as they work towards creating a healthier relationship with money, aligned with their core values and life goals.