Last week’s blog post provided some fascinating insight on what happens during my hypnotherapy and financial therapy sessions. In that particular post, I revealed that each patient’s one-on-one session will be different from each other, but they do share a few similarities which include some of the questions that I ask them during the session. Occasionally, symptoms and where they originate from are similar with patients, as well.
One reason for this similarity is that approximately 75-85% of our money and love programming is in place before we are seven years old. This means most of us are making life decisions based on our childhood programming. The questions I ask during my sessions enable me to uncover the unconscious messages that were deeply implanted from such a young age. Ultimately, this will help me identify what the patient is really trying to create in their lives.
In last weeks post, I gave you 5 Questions I Ask Every Patient. As I uncover a patient’s past experiences and their true heart’s desire, I begin to build upon two important relationship pillars- trust and rapport. Whether I am doing hypnotherapy for trauma or financial therapy, I tend to ask my patients similar guiding questions. Each question used is equally important to keeping the patient on the path to healing and transformation. In my professional experience, the question that helps patients remain exceptionally focused on their progress is...
“What’s going well?”
What You Focus On Expands
At the beginning of every session, I make it a point to ask, “What’s going well?”
Therapy doesn't have to be sad, including financial therapy. How about considering, "what's going well?"
When patients first hear this question they are slightly thrown off and will often answer with something along the lines of, “nothing.” I do not let them get away with that reply. There is always something going well in our lives, so we must search until we can find it. I make it a point to find three things going well with a patient before we move on in our session.
Some of my patients will continue to push back by exclaiming that they do not know of a single thing going well in their lives. Once again, I will not let them get away with that response. When you stop and check your heart there is always something you can find that is going well in your life. It could be something small, but it is still there. Small blessings and baby steps count, too!
Starting the session with things that are going well with my patients helps to keep them focused on their progress and the positive rather than the negative. With the work that I do, I know what you focus on expands, so I attempt to guide my patients’ focus on what is going well rather than what is going wrong. Using this tactic as a starting point for the session creates a pleasant environment. Society tells us that the road to healing oneself is incredibly painful and despairing. Patients are often surprised when they begin to realize they are actually enjoying the therapeutic process which then creates more successful sessions.
Why, “What’s Going Well?”
Before we are able to discuss the challenges and support necessary for a successful session, we must check in to see how the wellness plan is shaping up. We are able to do this by asking, “What’s going well?” It can be very tempting to simply skate over the positive and avoid working on our progress because society has unfortunately conditioned us to believe that the problem is heavier, and, therefore, must be more important than the solution.
Patients have a tendency to fall in love with being a victim- they fall in love with their problems. The fixation is so strong at times that they actually want to talk about their problems even after we resolved them. FYI - I rarely use the word problem in my sessions. In my program we replace “problem” with “challenge.” There are no problems- only challenges that we have yet to conquer. Try replacing the word problems to challenges in order to change your thought process.
Change Your State Of Mind
Therapy and coaching sessions often focus on trying to fix what is going wrong. I work from a wellness model, which means there is nothing to necessarily “fix.” Every session is based in peace, love, and positivity. That does not mean we are throwing confetti and singing songs during the session. It just means that it is ok to smile and acknowledge all parts of your life even when you are in pain. The pain exists but so do the things that are going well.
Laughter and gratitude are great ways to change your state of mind. Focusing on what is going wrong is the best way to expand what is going wrong in your life. Even though expanding what is going wrong in your life is not what you intend on doing, that is exactly what you are creating for yourself when you focus on what is upsetting you.
Starting with the question, “What’s going well?” guarantees that the session will have a positive focus. You will undoubtedly get to what is not going well or what challenges the patient has, but, if you start with that mindset, you may not be able to uncover the positive things or accomplishments a patient has going on in their life.
Personal Peace Party
Once attendees and patients learn how to shift their focus, I often find them doing it in their everyday lives. After a few weeks, they come to the session ready to answer the question without as much effort from my end to get them to open up. They start using my technique and find that it works so well for them that they begin teaching it to others. They teach others to ensure their friends and family are not bringing down the positive energy they have created. Negativity can be contagious, so it becomes important to set boundaries to protect and preserve positive energy.
I call this behavior a personal Peace Party. I teach a workshop called Peace Party and you are not allowed to complain while you are in the workshop. In fact, we make a game out of it and the winner- the person who does not get caught complaining- wins a prize. It makes it a fun game, but It is difficult in the beginning. It tends to become easier over time whether it is in the workshop, in one-on-one sessions, or in life.
What’s After Asking, What's Going Well?
You could start having personal Peace Parties and ask yourself “What’s going well?” on a daily basis. It is a great way to begin or end each day. There are some people who like to do it at the beginning of the day so they can start off positive while others prefer ending the day with reflecting on what went well- it is equally effective either way. This method is a great tool to use to end the week with your work team, your friends, or your family.
If you can train your family or team to start with “What’s going well?” before they go into challenges, you can reduce the stress and frustrations that might arise in those relationships. It will take practice, time, and repetition, but once everyone focuses on practicing this method, it becomes a natural process that is used with minimal effort and maximum results.
If you would like help transforming your thoughts from what’s going wrong to what’s going well, join my next 21-Day Crash Course in Prosperity. It usually kicks off with a “Love Your Life” masterclass, that then flows into the 21-Day Crash Course in Prosperity. I will show you how to stop comparing and start repairing your mindset, your money, your relationships, and your life. You will also learn techniques on how to manifest the life you deserve and desire.
We do this course quarterly so if you missed it, do not worry! You can register today and you will receive a notification a few days before the next one. You have worked hard so wouldn’t it be nice to find an easier way to enjoy life? I will show you on my masterclass how you can do this on a daily basis.
Go to kinecorder.com/masterclass to register.
We have a new group beginning each quarter. We take a limited number of students per session so reserve your spot! In the meantime, you will receive our weekly Prosperity Report: What’s Now Edition each Friday. This newsletter recaps all that is happening in Prosperity Club so you do not miss out on anything.
Register now and let’s talk about what’s going well with you!