Redefining Success: Why the Traditional Model of Success is a Joy-Stealing Myth

You’re stuck in the notion that success looks a particular way. It’s not your fault, it’s been passed down to you. But you don’t have to perpetuate it. Over the next few minutes together we will unravel the myth that has held us captive for far too long: this American Dream traditional model of success is dead. So by the end we can bring to life a new version of success, one that’s more aligned with who you are right now.  

For years, we've been led to believe that our worth is measured by external markers—money, possessions, and status. But let me tell you, my friends, those things do not hold the key to true happiness. In fact, they often leave us feeling empty and inadequate, forever comparing ourselves to others. But if you are reading this, you’re probably already feeling some dissonance. You’re probably questioning what you’ve been taught about success. It's time to break free from this joy-stealing myth and redefine what it means to be successful.

By most people’s standards, you’d be considered successful. Then why aren’t you happy? There is a myth that monetary success equates to happiness. There is a myth that reaching your external goals makes you happy. But this is not where happiness comes from. 

First, let me tell you it’s ok to have your own idea of success. I’m telling you this because you’re probably too programmed to give yourself permission to shift. I don’t mean that in a condescending way. I mean that in a, I’ve been doing this work for long enough to know that highly successful people truly believe it was their hard work and following the American Dream theory that got them so far. That was a long run-on sentence, but I think you get it. Deep down you know better, but you’ve been programmed for so long that you aren’t going to go up against society or your equally successful colleagues who are saying the same thing.

The traditional model of success rests on the flawed notion that external achievements guarantee happiness. If you go to school, get a good job or create a good business you should be happy. All you’ll need to do now is add in the spouse, the house, a dog, and a kid or two and that happiness should sore even more. Right? Wrong!

We want it to be true. Yet, extensive research reveals a startling truth: money and happiness have no significant correlation. Astonishing, isn't it? Those who chase wealth relentlessly often find themselves caught in the web of unhappiness. This isn’t to say that you can’t find happiness even if you’ve done all these things. This is to acknowledge that many times these ideas don’t account for what you really want, which is freedom. Ok, wait…I’ve moved to fast. Let me slow down and give you more evidence.

Why does this traditional model fail? 

The traditional model propagates the fallacy that happiness resides outside of you. But if you haven’t heard it said before, happiness is an inside job—it emanates from within. Happiness is about knowing what you really want, knowing why you want it, being grateful for it once you get it, and even more being satisfied with what you have no matter what others have. It’s also about not mistaking fleeting pleasures or temporary shots of dopamine for happiness.

Joy doesn't sprout from material possessions, but rather from the alignment of our values, passions, and purpose. Secondly, this outdated model insists on constant comparison—a toxic habit that robs us of our joy. Comparison is the thief of joy, as Theodore Roosevelt so aptly stated. When we relentlessly measure ourselves against others, we sentence ourselves to eternal dissatisfaction. This feeling causes us to feel inadequate, lonely, and pushes us toward overwhelm as we fight to get more so we can feel like more. 

But the opposite happens. We just feel more inadequate. If you’re experiencing some of these emotions, allow me to offer a few tips to relieve some of the overwhelm. It's time to reclaim your happiness. We must liberate ourselves from the shackles of external validation and redefine success according to our internal standards. This is the path to true fulfillment. Success is not about amassing possessions or accumulating wealth; it's about aligning our lives with what brings us genuine joy. 

Try doing these things on your own, but if you find that you need a guide on this transformational journey to redefine success, I recommend finding a Financial Therapist that specializes in prosperity and business success. You may find others in your search, but I’m here if you’ve found this information meaningful. I’ll tell you below how we can work together successfully. But before I do, here are a few ideas to get you started on your journey.

Cast aside the traditional model of success and forge your own path—one that honors your deepest values and aspirations. It's time to rise above societal expectations and embrace a life that is authentically yours. As you redefine success, here's a powerful exercise to get you started:

1. Take a moment to reflect on your values—what truly matters to you in life. In my course Control the Controllable, I call this Awareness. It’s always the first step. You’ve been tainted by what society told you to want. So get in a quiet place so you can gain awareness. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself, “If I could have it my way, what would it be.” Here is a tip…don’t swing the pendulum all the way to the other side. If you find yourself doing that, it’s your pain guiding your decisions. To get out of your pain, identify how you want to feel, rather than what or who can bring you the feeling. 
2. Once you have tapped into the thoughts and feelings, actually write down the feelings and the core values that are important to you. Next to each core value jot down things that get in the way of you expressing these core values and that get in the way of you feeling peaceful and free. 
3. If you can, this part isn’t always easy on your own, write down practical ways you can express and embody your care values in your daily life. What shifts could you make? What could you give up? What could you add to your daily life? Who could help you do this?
4. Make a commitment to dedicate at least 20-minutes each day to engaging in activities that reflect your core values. Meditate, journey, flirt with your spouse, play with your child(ren), join a group or private Financial Therapy program that can help with the transformation. My course The Power of Financial Therapy has 4-virtual sessions and 4-assessments that can help you get clarity and get to calm optimal brain state on a daily basis. 

Be creative and open minded as you unravel the program that you’ve been holding on to for so long. Yes, you can be open minded. No you haven’t been open minded lately. 

That’s why you’re feeling this push to shift to a more meaningful life. Give in! When you give in, you will feel pulled rather than pushed to redefine success on your terms. 

You deserve it! 

By embracing this Financial Therapy exercise, you'll experience a profound shift in focus—from external benchmarks to internal fulfillment. Your happiness will no longer be held hostage by society's standards, but will blossom from within, bringing you a sense of mental clarity and purpose like never before.

Remember, young Skywalker, success is a journey unique to each individual. So it's time to say farewell to the traditional model of success and embrace a life that reflects your true desires. May your path be filled with love, respect, gratitude and authenticity. This is the true measure of your success.

And if you’d like to connect with me in the future, you have three ways to start.

1.  Joining my FREE workshop.
2. For just a tiny investment take the Control the Controllable course
3. For just a little more get a deep dive into The Power of Financial Therapy
4. You may be thinking you’d like to schedule a session with me and once you’re in the community one of the above ways and we determine if you qualify for a session, you’ll be able to book. I only take a few sessions a month so let’s start the conversation and go from there.